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Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month: “Grateful”

24 Feb

I am grateful.

Particularly on Saturday mornings. My four year old sheltie bounds immediately to the back door and barks excitedly, running joyfully around the patio, stopping to eat patches of snow as he goes. I boil a pot of water and grind enough beans to brew a French press full of rich, fragrant coffee. The dog comes back inside and immediately sits (his way of asking politely for a cookie). I smear a carrot stick with a little bit of peanut butter, put it down between his front paws, and he gleefully wanders off to devour his prize.

I assemble the ingredients to bake muffins to go with the morning coffee. Soon, the tantalizing smells will convince Joe to get up. In no time at all, my best friend and partner of six years will be chatting with me about the news and enjoying a lazy, work-free day while the dog snoozes between us. Maybe we’ll watch a movie, or take Dioji for a walk. In any case, I will be completely, utterly content and at ease.

And so, so grateful.

Almost a decade ago (in high school), I left an abusive relationship. As crazy as it sounds, it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My partner at the time was manipulative and threatening to the point where I was afraid to go out with other friends. He told me that none of them could possibly love me as much as he did and that it was a waste of my time to maintain relationships with them. By the time I realized what was happening, what had begun as verbal put-downs spiraled into the ugly realm of physical and sexual abuse.

Following the break up, I tried for several months to endure his presence in the class and activities we shared at school. I thought that by doing this I was being strong and not causing trouble. But it couldn’t last. Every time I saw him, I relived the horrors over and over again. He wondered why I didn’t want to be friends. Finally, I filed for a protection from abuse order and won the motion. He was no longer allowed to be present at classes or events where I chose to be. What should have been liberating became a nightmare. My peers were afraid that I would do the same thing to other boys, and were aghast at the notion that my ex had done what I claimed. Most of those I considered friends turned away from me, insisting that it was just too hard to believe. Instead, degrading notes appeared in my locker, drinks were thrown on me at school sporting events, and classmates started petitions to have me removed from classes that my ex had been kicked out of, remarking that it was “only fair.” The school administration ignored those requests, but did nothing to correct the students’ misconceptions and assumptions.

To this day, I wish my acquaintances had believed me. Sometimes, albeit infrequently, there are days that feel compelled write to them and ask why they didn’t.

Why did you kick me while I was down? Why didn’t you love me?

My hope is that maturity has changed their attitudes toward victims of dating violence.

In my case, there is a positive epilogue. Over the last nine years, I’ve met people who’ve taught me what it really means to be a friend, and met a partner who has shown me that real love *is* respect. My friends, family, and partner gave me the strength and determination that has brought me to where I am now: I’ve graduated from university with honors, completed a master’s degree, lived in multiple cities both domestic and abroad, found a job that brings me happiness, and re-discovered that the world is full of wonderful people and experiences to soak in. I have a deep appreciation for the value of self-confidence and self-worth.

Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year, and many have not been as lucky as myself. If someone comes forward to you and tells you that he or she is afraid in their relationship and needs help, it has already taken more courage than I can possibly describe to even come that far. Don’t stand for those who would blame the victim.

Don’t wait to be a true friend. I know that am forever grateful for each and every one that has been in my life.

Especially on Saturdays.

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Please take the time to talk to the teens in your life about cultivating healthy relationships, and how to recognize the signs of abuse. To learn more, visit http://www.teendvmonth.org. If you think someone you know may be in an abusive relationship, don’t wait to speak up. Visit http://www.loveisrespect.org to learn how you can support victims and be a voice for real love. Love *is* respect…

www.teendvmonth.org

www.breakthecycle.org

www.loveisrespect.org

www.pcar.org

www.nsvrc.org

Park51 and why it belongs in lower Manhattan

20 Aug

I read a thoughtfully written piece by Roger Ebert today entitled, “10 things I know about the mosque.” It was his assessment of the proposed construction of the Park 51 community center, which plans to house a mosque in addition to a wide range of recreational and educational spaces.

While I agreed with his final conclusion that the true reflection of American values would be to live and let live freely, I did not agree with his assessment that “[t]he imam would be prudent to chose another location, because the far right wing has seized on the issue as an occasion for fanning hatred against Muslims.”

We should not be threatened by those who would promote fear and hatred in order to control culture and refuse tolerance. Islam is the world’s second largest religion. A Pew Research study in 2009 estimated that there are approximately 1.57 billion Muslims in the world, which is about 1 in every 4 people.

Much like Christianity, which has an estimated 38,000 denominations, there are debates within the Muslim culture about the ways in which the religion is practiced, thus leading to a variety of sects and movements. There are radical, hate-filled branches springing from any religious culture, but these should not and do not define the vast majority. The Muslims living in this country are just as American as anyone else. They desire the same things as non-Muslim Americans: education for their children, adequate healthcare, employment, fulfilling relationships with others, and space to practice their faith.

The space proposed in lower Manhattan is not a selfish place, but an inclusive one. Park51 writes that its vision is “dedicated to pluralism, service, arts and culture, education and empowerment, appreciation for our city and a deep respect for our planet.  Park51 will join New York to the world, offering a welcoming community center with multiple points of entry. With world-class facilities, a global scope and strong local roots, Park51 will offer a friendly and accessible platform for conversations across our identities.“

The community center plans to house recreational facilities, a swimming pool, a culinary arts center, restaurant, a library, reading room, art studios, an auditorium, a mosque which is open and accessible to anyone, and a September 11th memorial with “quiet contemplation space, open to all.”

Shouldn’t we embrace such an idea? Why not build something like this so close to the former site of the World Trade Center? Why not use it as a beacon to the world that says, “We will NOT be afraid. We will NOT give into hatred. We will NOT let terrorists destroy our country or our culture. All of us, regardless of ethnicity or creed stand united as Americans.”

There is a chance for this to be a positive turning point in our history. Don’t let the hyperbolic, fear-based rhetoric win. This is not a game, nor should it be used as a political bargaining chip to sway voters. Those who would use it in such a way should be ashamed that they would deny fundamental civil rights and simultaneously encourage bigotry and fear to advance their own agendas.

Turn your face instead toward peace and tolerance. Only those who believe in liberty for all can truly be free.

www.park51.org
(For more information on the community center)
http://blogs.suntimes.com/ebert/2010/08/ten_things_i_know_about_the_mo.html
(For Roger Ebert’s comments on Park 51)
http://pewforum.org/Mapping-the-Global-Muslim-Population.aspx
(The Pew Research study on global Muslim population)

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? Don’t Discriminate!

9 Jun

Generally, I like riding the Metro. I enjoy having the time to think about whatever I want to think about. At work and home there are usually little tasks waiting to be finished, but on the train there are no computers and barely even a cell phone signal. Free-thinking time.

Usually, this is a good thing. For instance, it gave me a chance to read up on the candidates for today’s primary elections before I go off to vote after work. Yes Virginians, there is a primary today. GO VOTE. Polls are open until 7.

Some days, this thinking time is not such a good thing. Those days are usually the ones where something has gone awry and I’m brooding over it because I cannot think of any action to take. Yesterday was such a day. I was reading the news and came across this:

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court refused on Monday to hear a legal challenge to the Pentagon’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, a decision that allows the Obama administration to continue its slow, back-burner response to liberal activists who want gays to serve openly in the military.

During last year’s campaign, President Barack Obama indicated that he supported eventually repealing the law, but he has made no specific move to do so since taking office in January. The White House has said it won’t stop the military from dismissing gays and lesbians who admit their sexuality.

Democrats who control Congress also are not in a hurry to end the policy, which was made law in 1993. Easing the outright ban on gays in the military caused political trouble for President Bill Clinton and Democratic lawmakers that year, and Obama and his congressional allies want to avoid an issue that would roil the public just as they are seeking support for health care and other initiatives.

A Democratic aide to the Senate Armed Services Committee called a review of the law “not a high priority” and said the panel will look at the issue sometime before the end of Obama’s term — but would not specify when. The aide spoke on condition of anonymity to speak freely about the committee’s plans.

It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. It sickens, disgusts, and enrages me beyond belief to see our government support such a shameful policy. And it made me wonder, “What if Clinton had stood his ground?” By compromising rather than demanding equality at the very start, it’s made it far too easy for the homophobic portion of the population to consider “Don’t ask, don’t tell” a fair and just policy.

At it’s heart, the policy is nothing more than basic discrimination. The fact that reviewing it is “not a high priority” is outrageous when those in power claim the U.S. as a nation to be a celebration of diversity. Using the excuse that repealing it now would distract us from our “objectives” in the middle East, or make it more difficult to pass health care reform, is ludicrous. By requesting that the Supreme Court not hear this case, the Obama administration has effectively slapped the faces of many of its most fervent supporters. I knew there would be decisions I did not agree with, but this was a no-brainer.

It doesn’t take rights away from anyone, it doesn’t take money away from anyone, and it’s a Puritanical policy that was put in place to soothe a group of people who use this logic: It’s okay for you to go and get your head blown off in a foreign country by some grenade wielding maniac, but don’t you dare tell us that you love someone of the same gender! In other words, you’re good enough to be a tool of our military, but not a human being with a full set of civil rights.

Support the troops? Then put your money where your mouth is and support all of them.

Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? Don’t Discriminate!

9 Jun

Generally, I like riding the Metro. I enjoy having the time to think about whatever I want to think about. At work and home there are usually little tasks waiting to be finished, but on the train there are no computers and barely even a cell phone signal. Free-thinking time.

Usually, this is a good thing. For instance, it gave me a chance to read up on the candidates for today’s primary elections before I go off to vote after work. Yes Virginians, there is a primary today. GO VOTE. Polls are open until 7.

Some days, this thinking time is not such a good thing. Those days are usually the ones where something has gone awry and I’m brooding over it because I cannot think of any action to take. Yesterday was such a day. I was reading the news and came across this:

WASHINGTON (AP) — The Supreme Court refused on Monday to hear a legal challenge to the Pentagon’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, a decision that allows the Obama administration to continue its slow, back-burner response to liberal activists who want gays to serve openly in the military.

During last year’s campaign, President Barack Obama indicated that he supported eventually repealing the law, but he has made no specific move to do so since taking office in January. The White House has said it won’t stop the military from dismissing gays and lesbians who admit their sexuality.

Democrats who control Congress also are not in a hurry to end the policy, which was made law in 1993. Easing the outright ban on gays in the military caused political trouble for President Bill Clinton and Democratic lawmakers that year, and Obama and his congressional allies want to avoid an issue that would roil the public just as they are seeking support for health care and other initiatives.

A Democratic aide to the Senate Armed Services Committee called a review of the law “not a high priority” and said the panel will look at the issue sometime before the end of Obama’s term — but would not specify when. The aide spoke on condition of anonymity to speak freely about the committee’s plans.

It shouldn’t surprise me, but it does. It sickens, disgusts, and enrages me beyond belief to see our government support such a shameful policy. And it made me wonder, “What if Clinton had stood his ground?” By compromising rather than demanding equality at the very start, it’s made it far too easy for the homophobic portion of the population to consider “Don’t ask, don’t tell” a fair and just policy.

At it’s heart, the policy is nothing more than basic discrimination. The fact that reviewing it is “not a high priority” is outrageous when those in power claim the U.S. as a nation to be a celebration of diversity. Using the excuse that repealing it now would distract us from our “objectives” in the middle East, or make it more difficult to pass health care reform, is ludicrous. By requesting that the Supreme Court not hear this case, the Obama administration has effectively slapped the faces of many of its most fervent supporters. I knew there would be decisions I did not agree with, but this was a no-brainer.

It doesn’t take rights away from anyone, it doesn’t take money away from anyone, and it’s a Puritanical policy that was put in place to soothe a group of people who use this logic: It’s okay for you to go and get your head blown off in a foreign country by some grenade wielding maniac, but don’t you dare tell us that you love someone of the same gender! In other words, you’re good enough to be a tool of our military, but not a human being with a full set of civil rights.

Support the troops? Then put your money where your mouth is and support all of them.

In Praise of the Pasture

5 Jun

Note: The following post contains information about commercial beef production that readers may find disturbing. While I encourage you to read on, I ask that you do so at your own discretion and with an open mind. Thank you.

Before the corn industry took America by storm following World War II, cattle and other herbivorous, pastured animals were raised in fields using rotational grazing. This grazing practice divides a pasture into several sections and moves the herd between sections regularly throughout the year to prevent over-grazing. In return, the cattle provided their rich manure to help replenish the pasture year after year. This manure was also used to fertilize the crops grown on the farm. In fact, the working farm was very nearly a perfect cycle with no waste.

However, once World War II ended, the U.S. found itself left with an overabundance of synthetic nitrogen which had been used to make bombs. In an attempt to use it, it was given to farmers to use on their fields. With synthetic nitrogen now replenishing the fields, there was no longer any need to pasture animals. That same land could be used for growing more corn. Thus, the animals moved from the farm to the feedlot, where nature’s balanced cycle was indelibly broken. Farmers were no longer forced to rotate crops in order to keep nitrogen in the soil and corn became the golden child of the commercial agriculture industry. It has since made its way into over 2/3rds of consumer products.

And as for those big steer in the feedlots?

A typical commercial steer is given access to “feed” fairly frequently while being contained in a pen with hundreds of others like it. I put the above word in quotes because I’m not sure that this diet can necessarily be considered food to an animal that is, by nature, an herbivorous creature. Here is what the average steer gets:

Flaked corn, liquefied fat which is often in the form of beef tallow, molasses and urea (a protein supplement made from the same synthetic nitrogen fertilizing the fields), alfalfa hay and silage, Rumensin and Tylosin (antibiotics), and synthetic estrogen.

What’s important to remember is that steer evolved eating grass. Their stomachs contain a unique fermentation-like chamber where they can actually convert grasses into a form of protein. They’re not biologically equipped to digest corn and force-feeding it has created the host of problems (like bloat, acidosis, and infection) that cause the antibiotics to be necessary. In fact, cattle are so ill-equipped to digest this food that it can only be given to them for 150 days at most before they must be taken off of it. According to Dr. Mel Metzin, a staff veterinarian at a feedlot in Kansas, 15-30 percent of feedlot cattle are found to have abcessed livers at slaughter, and in some places the figure is as high as 70 percent. The antibiotics are also needed because the cows sleep in the very same pen where they eat, which often means sleeping in their own manure for extended periods of time. While not a pleasant thought at the start, it becomes even more reprehensible when you consider all of the hormones and antibiotics the average steer is laying in on a regular basis.

These antibiotics make their way into our meat and unfortunately have caused antibiotic-resistant strains of bacteria like e-coli to evolve. All of this doesn’t even take into account the fact that the corn being fed to these non-corn eating animals is littered with chemical fertilizers and has been genetically modified to produce maximum yield (some new strains even have built in pesticides! Eee…).

If this sounds overwhelming to you, breathe a sigh of relief as I tell you that you absolutely do not have to support this even if you are an omnivorous human like myself. Below are the URLs of the two local farms that I choose to get my bison, pork, and poultry products from. I provide their websites to use as a reference for what you should look for if you want to find a sustainable farm in your area. Notice how open these farmers are about guests visiting and how freely they describe their agricultural practices. Farms like these can provide you with quality meat/poultry products from animals that are raised on the foods their biology programmed them to eat, without any added antibiotics, hormones, or genetically modified food.

www.smithmeadows.com
www.cibolafarms.com

Please note that I choose bison over beef purely for the health reasons (higher protein content/lower fat) and because it is more readily available at my local market. I have nothing against sustainably raised cattle. If you’re really interested in finding a sustainable source of quality meat and are having trouble, please leave a comment and I will be more than happy to help you in your search. After all, I’m in library school…I can always use practice on those reference questions!

-Neen

References

Kessler, David. The End of Overeating: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite (Rodale, 2009).

Pollan, Michael. In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto (Penguin, 2009) and The Omnivore’s Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals (Penguin, 2007).


Why Should I?

1 Jun

Over the weekend, I took some time to consider the question, “Why do this?”

It was tough when I began to think about writing this particular blog post because there is a whole host of reasons why I’ve chosen to eat clean and as local as possible. Much of my reading as of late has been devoted to this topic and has inundated me with a great many statistics. While these are certainly important, what I am trying to do and the motivation behind it can be explained in much simpler terms by someone who has done far more research:

“Depending on how we spend them, our food dollars can either go to support a food industry devoted to quantity and convenience and “value” or they can nourish a food chain organized around values–values like quality and health. Yes, shopping this way takes more money and effort, but as soon as you begin to treat that expenditure as a kind of vote–a vote for health in the largest sense–food no longer seems like the smartest place to compromise.”
-Michael Pollan

For tens of thousands of years, our ancestors ate the food provided by their local habitats. Even in (relatively) recent history, items transported from other places were rare commodities, saved for special occasions and relegated to things which simply could not be produced in the local climate.

With the advent of modern technology, we’ve learned to do it all quickly and efficiently. But is this really the best way to do things? Consider that most commercially grown products are bred for quantity (thus those watery, mealy tomatoes that pop up in the store in January) and visual appeal (but they looked so nice on the shelf!), and it becomes clear that what is being provided in the grocery store is nothing more than a mirage. Sure, the produce section looks full even in the middle of winter, but at what price? By the time those tomatoes reach the store, they’ve been shipped hundreds (if not thousands) of miles and their nutrition has degraded significantly. And since it’s the middle of winter, you guessed it, you’re going to pay more for them anyway. Paying more for an inferior product doesn’t make sense, does it?

So, as Pollan puts it, you have to put forth the effort. This means buying tomatoes from a local farm when they are in season and preserving them as best you can. While canning, dehydrating, and freezing all cause nutrient loss, products grown using sustainable agriculture practices contain significantly more vitamins, nutrients, and antioxidants than their commerically grown counterparts. So, while you’ll still lose some in the “saving” process, you’re left with more than what you’d get from the grocery.

Even much of that can be avoided by eating what is in season at any given time. Googling farms in your area can give you an idea of when certain products peak and what time of year you can expect to have certain vegetables and fruits. It’s really forced me to try some new veggies, which is never bad! Plus, many farms are open for “pick-your-own” fruits and vegetables, which is a great way to get kids involved in healthy cooking as children are more likely to eat something which they’ve had a hand in choosing and preparing.

And yet, while all of these are fine arguments for local food, none capture what it is that drives me: I feel better. I am very curious to see how my blood work comes up this week after finishing iron treatment and really devoting myself to better eating habits. But it’s not just a physical feeling of well-being either. It’s embracing my place as a citizen of the world. It is accepting that food, in its most basic form comes from a complex web of relationships between living beings. It is understanding that while the lifestyle comes with its sacrifices, it embraces the harmony between those living things that provide us with sustenance and a sense of community.

While I’m not a member of a religious faith, this connection to what fuels us has brought me a profound sense of peace and has reminded me that nature is, in the truest sense of the word, awesome.

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